i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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