Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
