he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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