K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
