About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
