Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
