I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
