I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
