She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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