How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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