Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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