walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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