Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i believe in u and ur pee
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
