Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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