He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
