i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
