Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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