I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize