he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
