I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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