So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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