but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
