I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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