Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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