she was so not down for the gang bang
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
