you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
