OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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