do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
