He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize