Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
