Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
