Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
