Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
