Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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