Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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