My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
