just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
