she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i drank out of a bidet.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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