If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
