if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i believe in u and ur pee
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize