At least make sure they are 18
Why
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
