I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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