i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize