I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize