I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
