I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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