Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
