she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
