I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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