Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
