i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
