you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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