yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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