nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Michael Bay diarrhea
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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