Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
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I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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