Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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